John Branyan
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Latest post from John's Comedy Sojourn

--- Picture Present ---

Formula for being an idiot:

1 part ego + 2 parts assumptions + a pinch of narcissism

It was almost the end of a week long cruise.

I had performed several times aboard the ship.

Virtually every passenger recognized me as ‘the comedian’.

Seated on deck

in front of a shop in Ketchikan, Alaska

I was having a conversation with my friend, Dina.

From the corner of my eye

I saw an Indonesian lady looking at me,


Holding a camera.

She asked, “Can you take a picture?”

Of course I can!

I’d posed for dozens of pictures all week long.

Dina  jumped up.

“I can take it for you,” she chirped.

Enthusiastically, I put my arm around the lady’s neck.

Dina snapped a picture.

“One more to make sure,” she said.

I squeezed my cheek against the lady’s cheek.

And kind of lifted her up a bit.

Dina handed the camera back to her.

Meekly, the lady asked, “Are you on one of the ships?”



Aren’t you?

“I’m on the NCL ship over there.”


She wasn’t a passenger on my ship.

She had no idea who I was.

She had been requesting that I take a picture OF HER.


She shuffled away.

Looking like someone who had been assaulted.

I wish I could find her.

I’d tell her it was a misunderstanding.

So if you’ve recently been in Ketchikan, Alaska,

and a psycho posed for pictures with you


It was me.

I want you to know:

I’m not normally so physically familiar with strangers.

I rarely grope people I don’t know.

But I’d love to see the pictures!

Contact me.

I’ll send you a bunch of DVD’s.

If you haven’t been in Ketchikan

but you’d like to photo bomb a picture with me

click here

Feel free to edit this photo to your heart’s content.

The best one will get an autographed DVD.