John Branyan
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Latest post from John's Comedy Sojourn

--- Picture Present ---

Formula for being an idiot:

1 part ego + 2 parts assumptions + a pinch of narcissism

It was almost the end of a week long cruise.

I had performed several times aboard the ship.

Virtually every passenger recognized me as ‘the comedian’.

Seated on deck

in front of a shop in Ketchikan, Alaska

I was having a conversation with my friend, Dina.

From the corner of my eye

I saw an Indonesian lady looking at me,

Smiling.

Holding a camera.

She asked, “Can you take a picture?”

Of course I can!

I’d posed for dozens of pictures all week long.

Dina  jumped up.

“I can take it for you,” she chirped.

Enthusiastically, I put my arm around the lady’s neck.

Dina snapped a picture.

“One more to make sure,” she said.

I squeezed my cheek against the lady’s cheek.

And kind of lifted her up a bit.

Dina handed the camera back to her.

Meekly, the lady asked, “Are you on one of the ships?”

Um…

Yeah.

Aren’t you?

“I’m on the NCL ship over there.”

Oh.

She wasn’t a passenger on my ship.

She had no idea who I was.

She had been requesting that I take a picture OF HER.

Not WITH HER.

She shuffled away.

Looking like someone who had been assaulted.

I wish I could find her.

I’d tell her it was a misunderstanding.

So if you’ve recently been in Ketchikan, Alaska,

and a psycho posed for pictures with you

uninvited,

It was me.

I want you to know:

I’m not normally so physically familiar with strangers.

I rarely grope people I don’t know.

But I’d love to see the pictures!

Contact me.

I’ll send you a bunch of DVD’s.

If you haven’t been in Ketchikan

but you’d like to photo bomb a picture with me

click here

Feel free to edit this photo to your heart’s content.

The best one will get an autographed DVD.